Lately I've noticed everyone's in competition to get some kind of commitment from you one way or another. Commitment that's relatively cheap with instant gratification and in some cases requiring absolutely no membership. Whether it's Redbox vs. Netflix vs. Blockbuster or XBOX vs. Playstation vs. Nintendo Wii or FOX vs. NBC vs. ABC etc., etc....each trying to get more viewers and more customers. Consequently, creating a culture that says if something's broken, you don't fix it, instead you go and buy a new one; a mindset not based on loyalty but competition. The problem with this framework, is that it's permeated our relationships and has us obsessed with voting people off after a series of dates with shows like "The Bachelor", "Tough Love" or for you older folks "The Dating Game". The way people show love for others nowadays, seems to emulate the same love we have for our smart phones, you know, lasting up until the new shiny sleek version is available.
Who or what are you committed to?
Our consumer culture seems to be erasing the most valuable commodity in any relationship : Commitment!!! However, commitment (in any relationship) matters because it leads to a certain kind of safety that will build a deeper kind of intimacy. Over time you learn to be more transparent, share secrets, confess fears, forgive without the worrying about betrayal. Instead of running away, there's a constant running towards. Commitment matters because it's an adventure and resonates with our deepest longings to be heroic and stay strong in our darkest moments. That moment where all seems lost, we gather the strength to defeat whatever darkness we're faced with. Being married for 15 years and three kids later, I know now that commitment builds love over time and makes the relationship much more valuable in the end...creating a love that's not for sale and without a price tag.
Why do some people have this level of commitment and others don't? Starting next week I'm putting together some workshops on marriage, parenting and singleness with some of the best licensed counselors in Miami. If you're interested in attending and having many questions answered, go head and click on workshops below and/or contact me via email for more information.
Workshops : Marriage, Parenting and Singleness