16 on the 16th

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This morning I woke up to a card my wife laid on my chest that said, "I wouldn't trade one moment of our life together. Everything we've shared has only made us stronger and I know our future holds even more happiness-because of the wonderful man you are, because of the way you make feel...and because every year, I keep falling even deeper in love with you."  Today we celebrate 16 years of marriage and so I wanted to write 16 random things I love about my wife.

Tiffany

  1. I love when you freak out- you make this sound that sounds exactly like Chewbacca from Star Wars. "Burrrr--ghghgh"!
  2. I love you're insane love for animals and how you saved our dogs life when she was dying; buttercup has become our fourth child.
  3. I love how you consider me your best friend.
  4. I love that the only reason you laugh at slapstick comedy films is because of the sound of me laughing at slapstick comedy films.
  5. I love how the only reason I cry in sad movie scenes is because of the way you cry in sad movie scenes.
  6. I love how you're the absolute worst at picking movies but the absolute best at memorizing every lyric to every song on the radio.
  7. I love waking up to you each and every day.
  8. I love that you're the best mother any child can have.
  9. I love how you're the handy man of the house and when I break things I'm, "Demolition Dad" and when you fix things you're, "Rambo Mom"!!
  10. I love it when you sing.
  11. I love how almost all my favorite memories have you in it.
  12. I love how you look in a red dress.
  13. I love how you have just enough Native American ancestry to give you those high cheek bones but not enough to give us any Native American government benefits.
  14. I love how you put up with my sarcasm.
  15. I love......... (this is a "G" rated blog) 
  16. And finally, I love how we secretly eloped 16 years ago and against all odds and God's grace, we're still together.
Happy 16th Anniversary!!

Why Commitment Matters

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Lately I've noticed everyone's in competition to get some kind of commitment from you one way or another. Commitment that's relatively cheap with instant gratification and in some cases requiring absolutely no membership. Whether it's Redbox vs. Netflix vs. Blockbuster or  XBOX vs. Playstation vs. Nintendo Wii or FOX vs. NBC vs. ABC  etc., etc....each trying to get more viewers and more customers. Consequently, creating a culture that says if something's broken, you don't fix it, instead you go and buy a new one; a mindset not based on loyalty but competition. The problem with this framework, is that it's permeated our relationships and has us obsessed with voting people off after a series of dates with shows like "The Bachelor", "Tough Love" or for you older folks "The Dating Game". The way people show love for others nowadays, seems to emulate the same love we have for our smart phones, you know, lasting up until the new shiny sleek version is available.

Who or what are you committed to?

Our consumer culture seems to be erasing the most valuable commodity in any relationship : Commitment!!! However, commitment (in any relationship) matters because it leads to a certain kind of safety that will build a deeper kind of intimacy. Over time you learn to be more transparent, share secrets, confess fears, forgive without the worrying about betrayal. Instead of running away, there's a constant running towards. Commitment matters because it's an adventure and resonates with our deepest longings to be heroic and stay strong in our darkest moments. That moment where all seems lost, we gather the strength to defeat whatever darkness we're faced with. Being married for 15 years and three kids later, I know now that commitment builds love over time and makes the relationship much more valuable in the end...creating a love that's not for sale and without a price tag.

Why do some people have this level of commitment and others don't? Starting next week I'm putting together some workshops on marriage, parenting and singleness with some of the best licensed counselors in Miami. If you're interested in attending and having many questions answered, go head and click on workshops below and/or contact me via email for more information.

Workshops :  Marriage, Parenting and Singleness